Its my birthday today. I'm suddenly 29. OMG! Its my last year of being in my 20's and let me tell you something I'm not really crazy about the idea. The next twelve months is just going to fly by so quickly, this time next year it will be OMG I'm 30. I feel like these past nine years since I turned 20 have just completely flown by. What do I have to show for it?
I own my home and I have a nice car but that's pretty much it. Its sad but true. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have any children or any pets and I haven't lost any of the weight that I have gained in those years either. I'm not even where I want to be career wise.
I am hear at 29 years of age feeling like a complete and utter loser because I have not made enough of the past nine years since I turned 20. Why? cause she died. She was everything to me not only was she my mum. She was my best friend the person I told all my secrets to. The person that would stroke my back every time I was sick. It didn't matter how sick she was she always fought for me. Not hear she did it for me cause I was lucky enough to live when everyone thought I would die and for that I became her reason for living everyday. In my loneliest of moments she was always there to put a smile on my face and make me feel like the most important person in the world.
I can't blame her for dying. The past nine years was all me. Hoping and wishing things in my life would be different. As I chose to let it affect me, I chose the darkness because if was more familiar then the light. I chose to seek the things in life that was never good for me. To reminisce those feelings of comfort and love. My head was clouded by depression and sadness, I let it cripple my soul and stopped dreaming of things in life that I could achieve if only I set my mind to them and applied myself.
But that story is for another day. I'm suddenly 29 and going by all the wisdom I know now there is alot I'm going to do differently with the next nine years.
Its time to start dreaming big!
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